Why “Mental Robustness” Is a Myth — And What Really Matters

Let’s Talk About What We’re Really Feeling

There’s a phrase I heard over and over during my time in the army: “Mental robustness.”

It was used in reports, performance reviews, conversations — even as a badge of honour. I used to believe it meant I was strong, that I could handle anything. But I’ve come to realise something that took years to understand (and some serious emotional fallout):

What they called mental robustness was often just me being too stubborn and too afraid to show how I really felt.

I bottled up everything. The fear. The confusion. The sadness. The pressure. I thought ignoring it meant I was handling it. But bottling it all up doesn’t make it disappear — it just delays the breakdown. And for me, those breakdowns came — more than once.

Masking vs. Managing

Mental health isn’t something you can suppress or out-muscle. Here are some signs you might be masking instead of managing:

• You’re always “fine,” even when you’re clearly not

• You avoid quiet time because the silence feels too heavy

• You help others but never ask for help yourself

• You push through exhaustion, irritability, sadness — and call it resilience

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

What Actually Helps

We need to change the narrative — not just in the military, but in every walk of life. Mental health isn’t about being bulletproof. It’s about being honest. It’s about prioritising self-care. It’s about having safe spaces, supportive people, and time to recharge.

Some real ways to care for your mental health:

• Talk to someone you trust — regularly

• Journal your thoughts, even the uncomfortable ones

• Move your body, even if it’s just a walk

• Say no to things that drain you

• Take time off without guilt

• Book a retreat that helps you reconnect with yourself

If that last one speaks to you, we’ve created our retreats for this exact reason. Not just to escape — but to heal, explore, rest, and connect with others who get it.

Let’s Drop “Mental Robustness” for Good

That phrase? It’s outdated. It’s unrealistic. And it’s harmful.

No one — in the army, in business, in parenting, in life — is meant to be endlessly resilient without rest, support, and vulnerability.

Everyone has a different mental state at different points in their life. That’s not weakness. That’s humanity.

You’re Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Pretend

At Evexia, we care deeply about each and every person in our community. You don’t have to be “strong” to belong here. You just have to be yourself — however you’re feeling, wherever you are in your journey.

Let’s stick together. Let’s support one another. And let’s rewrite what strength really looks like.

With you always,

Gilly

Founder, Evexia